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Name: Dan Grossman Position: Father of the Bride Age: 53 Height: 5'11" Weight: Ample and sufficient |
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Scouting Report: Dan was a blue-chip father-of-the-bride prospect until the New York Times reported that he'd been spotted trying on orange tuxedos. "You can't go around saying that you're going to wear an orange tuxedo, and then expect to get into a top-tier wedding," said one insider. Dan comes with the considerable upside of being eager and willing to provide a comprehensive sound system, and obviously the Grossman/Reilly management was willing to overlook the fact that he comes with the downside of being eager and willing to provide 10-gallon igloo coolers, start and finish banners, fully automatic timing, tents, benches, and stopwatches. |
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